nayrt but as someone who also feels this way, that's not really what's going on? I don't argue with my afab gender because it's really truly not that important to me. But if it ever became truly easy and safe to easily not have one instead, I'd switch to that in a heartbeat. And in online/anon environments that center queer people I usually do pick "any" pronouns. And in spaces that don't force me to specify I carefully don't, same way I did in the 90s when it meant people online assumed you were a dude.

But I don't think I will ever care enough to consider it worth personal inconvenience to stop going by my afab stuff. And I feel a bit odd calling myself nonbinary even online because it does feel kinda like, idk, stolen valor? compared to the people who switched not because being nonbinary got easier but because being cis got too hard. Like it feels like if I really deserved to be nonbinary I'd transition even if it's hard, you know? Which is dumb. Except it's not.

On the other hand, to the extent I do feel pressured to be trans, it's because in nonbinary and trans friendly circles I'm being increasingly asked to affirmatively say I prefer to be female unless I'm willing to ask for something else. I don't care if other people use my birth ID for whatever and I really don't want the government or my ceo to know otherwise, but if you ask me if I personally have a preferred identity with it, that also feels like a lie. But if I'd been able to coast my whole life in a society that didn't care about my internal gender identity feelings, I would probably have never even noticed, so. It's a mess! Best summed up as "I dunno if that makes me nonbinary or not".

Yeah, and there are people who ID as agender, but I feel like even they often talk about a strong sense of gender preference that I just don't have.